Crying in the City

I woke up this morning and went to breakfast but did not eat.  I sent a 3 page text and cried.  I was so unhappy about my life situation that I cried.  I took the bus to the hospital to start the IOP program again and cried with the Intake Coordinator.  I came back to the shelter for lunch and cried as I ate.  I sat on the computer and listen to Family Affair by Mary J. Blige and cried.  My casemanager was ready to see me and I cried even more in his office.  I saw the Director of the shelter who spoke to me about a earlier text I sent and I cried even more.

I am crying because the woman I once was is no more; I can no longer work in the profession I once did; who and what I did was a part of me.  Who am I now?  I don't know?   Change, the thing I don't like the most is what is happening to me and I must accept it or die.